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New senior housing development conveniently located near cemetery

Stevens Avenue has long been known as the one street in America where people can pursue their entire education--from kindergarten to PhD. Now, thanks to an exciting new development, people can grow old and die there, too.
            Motherhouse Senior Housing, a new subdivision, is slated to provide over eighty housing units for women of a certain age as well as elder statesman. Developer Sea Coast at Baxter Woods Associates, who definitely isn’t doing this for the money, specifically chose this location because of the history of the building, the beauty of the surrounding lands, and the obvious convenience of being across the street from a graveyard.
            Despite some community opposition to the development, several neighborhood residents expressed their enthusiasm about the project. Nasons Corner resident Melissa Swenson gloated about it. “I’ve been trying to get my father to move back to Maine from Florida for years. Now I will finally be able to convince him. He will love the building’s proximity to Baxter Woods, and offering him the chance to carry out blasphemous acts in a former nunnery will be just the ticket,” Swenson explained.
            Michael Neal, a Deering Center resident, couldn’t be more excited. “For years, I have been dreading the hassle of my mother dying someday. Motherhouse Senior Housing is the answer I’ve been waiting for!” exclaimed Neal. “Now I can hold a simple ceremony right across the street, one that will leave me enough time to feed the ducks and go for a quick mountain bike ride afterward.”
            Sea Coast at Baxter Woods Associates is grateful that so many members of the neighborhood recognize the convenience of the location. “We couldn’t help but notice the proximity to a florist, too--surely Motherhouse Senior Housing will bring more business to Dodge the Florist!” said Jared Cody, the company’s public relations representative.
            The developer is hoping to bring a funeral home right to Stevens Avenue soon. They are seeking community feedback so that they have something to ignore once plans are underway.
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